Well, I can let you say what you want to say and our ears can fill us without (:

In case this website is on your top sites that you visit most frequently, I think you had better block it before you become too obssesed. And you’d suffer some consequences that a welfare sec can and will do, for the benefit of your welfare.

Though things start to turn out right, some things just really isn’t right. Some thing in me seems to generate a whole big great wave that wants to eat me up whole. Well, my life is kinda like a shell on a rocky shore, so insignificant and small, yet I encompass life. I show love, care, protection- and with all the comments that hurt one so, I am not affected, like a shell – so hard, and I can take all these hardships. I’m a shell, you can’t bring me down. No wait, this shell is stronger than a stone, you can’t step me, and this shell’s harden up into something greater- you can’t destroy me, you can’t stop me.

So I’m drinking down a truckload-ful of love, and drown in this hard life I am in. But I’m sure, people who does bad things onto others, suffer a worse life, probably not now, well- it’d probably slap you in your face. Wake up, bumble bee.

Well, you’re not getting on any of my nerves, I’ve let them all loose. You can try to pluck these strings of anxiety, and it’s never gonna work ANYMORE.

Here’s a little positivity, taking the wheel.

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water
You put your arms around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter
You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine

My heart is calm on the outside, yet caging up all the disasters that are about to tear it apart. My feelings aren’t right, especially when I feel so numb after all these work, or that love was never a thing for me. I don’t give a care anymore, I want to write a song about you so I can dance to the tune, instead of thinking of you.

Once this post comes to the last full-stop, which won’t be very far off from here, I’m gonna have to do many things. It’s like a flight race against time, yet I’m moving at the speed of a hare against light.

I was careless with my heart
To even let you get in without realizing
Now it’s hurting me

Well, gives me an inspiration to write a dance song with a title “Careless”. Let’s see how far this inspiration carries me to.

There’s been a lot on my mind, that I don’t really know where to start to, or where I can even end. My troubles come in a bundle, a stack, a pile- it just does not seem as right as where I started out from. Even my feelings, my emotions, don’t feel well or even stable. I’m on the verge of cracking, I need to escape for now. (but I can’t). Look at my predicament, what I’ve got myself into, I’m so darn tired thinking on my feet, outwitting and doing whatever that is not even within my means. I’ve been drilling myself with every possibility of any advancement of this project, and my heart’s just feeling empty. Empty, i say, empty. Isn’t service-learning about serving others, to be friends with the target you are outreaching to, to make them feel that they are a part of you, that they smile when you’re there, and you’re indispensable to them- you’re their big brother. Isn’t it supposed to be that way, instead of fund-raising, fund-raising? Does this even help them AT ALL? Our project has touched many hearts of the children, and I’m confident that we’re doing a great job.

Grand Finals or not, I love my service that I’m giving the children, I’m even gonna continue till JC. These two years of learning and having fun with the children are precious to me, too precious to even forget. The laughter on their faces, the joy we had with them. The learning experience as a whole for our service-learning was great, and beneficial to me. This project is one started by us, and one that would be continued by others, to breathe life into this project, to outreach to more students, and more volunteers like this will allow our project to continue.

In our unique shining lights, we shine.

We’re Project Shine.

http://facebook.com/theprojectshine

Not that I don’t work on it, not that I rest while waiting, I will do whatever I can within my power to get whatever I want. All these, yet not tiring myself out at all, juggling with academics at the same time. I realised that tiring myself out would not be effective at all. Feeling like I’m crazier than usual, I need to get into my party mood, I need to get optimistic as I was at the start of 2010. I need to get everything back. I have to start studying and start making my academics soar, so I can hopefully achieve awards to recognize my efforts in everything I do. This recognition will be everything that I aim for right now, even though I don’t have an EP3 leader position, because of slutty reasons, I will still not let this love pass by, I will make everything work out for me in this last year in high school and my last year in band.

:) Going back to who I was, I need a definition to myself, to make myself into my old mould with a style that breaks boundaries. I’m telling myself.

Let’s start from why this conflict started. 1948: Israel is created out of the land of Palestine. Historial reasons say that 1500BC, Jews stayed in the land of Palestine and that in 1st century BC, Palestine is ruled by Romans, AD70+135 Jews rebelled against the rulers and were expelled after romans destroyed the city of jerusalem. Jews then sought refuge in neighbouring countries over the next 200 years. They were then expelled by roman from western europe, settling in Russia, Poland. 19th century, Jews were gravely persecuted anti-jews riots and fled to US and western europe.

Rise of Zionism. Beginning of 20th Century, Zionists felt that there should be a Jew National Home where they felt that the land was Palestine/a.k.a the “Promised Land” where Jews/Israelities lived 2500 years ago. Zionists then started to go there, in 1880-1914 had 60 000 Jews. in the 19th century, Arab tries to remove Turks Rulers, and Britian afraid oil supply from Persia/Iran cut off by Turks, British then encouraged Arab to rebel against Turks and gain independence and they would support and recognize Arabs. in 1916, Arabs were angry that British did not keep promises (SKYES-PICOT agreement of sharing of arab lands between british and france) 1919 Treaty of Versailles british was accused of > immigration of Jews, accused British being pro-Zionist. British and France gave up ruling arab nations. 1921: Arab vs Jews 200 Jews, 120 Arabs killed/wounded. 1929:violence at Jerusalem (holy city for jews) (jews killed at rate of 133 in 4 day period) 1933: Hitler killed 450 000 jews by 1939 (Anti Semitism) 1936:arab attack Jews….

whatever, it got in obviously for this part but I gotta study the other parts. And yes, we’re studying history. WTH.