Despite saying I have no life, I in fact have played around with my guitar and picked up a few more skills and songs and fiddled around with a few chords that made up my new song “Only if you say” which was an emotional overall feel about a girl trying to hold back her emotions but now, the guy has to leave and therefore she should say and ask him to stay. This emotional feel of the song had chords from Pink’s Funhouse that I did my cover in but had a completely different feel from the rock style that Pink gave it, but this song is a slow and well, I guess emotionally attached-to-me-and-you song.
Enough said, I have to get back to sleep so I can buy the remaining things I have left for the barbeque tomorrow for the class farewell for Mrs Loi. Hope you had fun reading as well as had fun listening to my song choices.
Hi Guys, bet none of you ever takes my blog seriously but this week was a thriller despite the death of Micheal Jackson. This week was one that put me on a roller coaster ride, along with my emotions that went high and down. I guess no one ever understood, well, still, after so long I’m still not over the same thing that haunted me a few million eons ago (as what my confide, Joseph has metioned). In lieu of such events, I had to get away and do something more constructive instead and instead of spending my time (without a life, as Nicholas says about me) I went on shopping sprees. Buying nothing but with really great satisfactions. I went for movies again and again and I still don’t understand why I keep crying during romantic movies. Sometimes I would wake myself up in the middle of the night with random jerks (I believe are Nightmares…)
I bet none of you has that yet, ever in your life as all of you live in a small little bubble filled with rainbows and marshmellows. Speaking of marshmellows, those at MUJI (strawberry flavored) tastes like heaven.
Yes, and one thing I have to get across this holidays would be the river of fats that I accumulated in my body due to the incessant strings and chain of exams that flooded me with anxiety every now and then. I’m fat, yes – at least I admit; well… I’ve been going to the gym these few days and running and training… with hopes that maybe I’d get a chance to get gold next year. I’d bet no, for the fact that I have not touched the pull-up thing/bar for more than 2 years. I did 6 at one go last time, let’s see how I detoriated…
So with all the emotional content, you could say it’s best to write songs now… but have you ever seen a song that floods you with random emotions, like what I have been going through… Crying, laughing, then crying and everything falls into a cycle. Yet, I have to learn to get moving and accept everything I have on hand, it’s like a BAD ROMANCE. I hate this part. When I thought everything was falling apart, I heard the song “Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson”. Hearing the lyrics
Remember all those things we wanted,
All the memories they’re haunted,
We were always meant to say goodbye.
—
But I want you to know that it doesn’t matter
where we take this road, someone’s gotta go
And I want you to know that you couldn’t have loved me better
And I want you to move on
So I’m already gone
These lyrics touched me. They were so close to what I was facing, everything and it’s a miracle that I’m spilling all these emotions I kept in a bottle for such a long time without even telling anyone (not even my parents) You could say that I’m stupid but I don’t wanna be a burden to anyone, so I share to myself + 1-2 People. I have to say this confide told me the right words, to let go, to stay strong, to love life. Not exactly love life but just love everything you do. It really doesn’t matter to me about how roses have thorns and I have none, it doesn’t really hurt me cause I’m numb.
I’m really feeling numb. I’m scared of losing all my emotions, someone help me before I break down and drown in an avalanche. Well, probably it isn’t literally doing that but I need time on my own, at least, like a term before my emotions don’t shake like a wave that lost it’s epicenter, like a earthquake that lost it’s cracks and an avalanche without a mountain.
A bad romance…. have fun.