that really had me going.
There’s been a lot on my mind, that I don’t really know where to start to, or where I can even end. My troubles come in a bundle, a stack, a pile- it just does not seem as right as where I started out from. Even my feelings, my emotions, don’t feel well or even stable. I’m on the verge of cracking, I need to escape for now. (but I can’t). Look at my predicament, what I’ve got myself into, I’m so darn tired thinking on my feet, outwitting and doing whatever that is not even within my means. I’ve been drilling myself with every possibility of any advancement of this project, and my heart’s just feeling empty. Empty, i say, empty. Isn’t service-learning about serving others, to be friends with the target you are outreaching to, to make them feel that they are a part of you, that they smile when you’re there, and you’re indispensable to them- you’re their big brother. Isn’t it supposed to be that way, instead of fund-raising, fund-raising? Does this even help them AT ALL? Our project has touched many hearts of the children, and I’m confident that we’re doing a great job.
Grand Finals or not, I love my service that I’m giving the children, I’m even gonna continue till JC. These two years of learning and having fun with the children are precious to me, too precious to even forget. The laughter on their faces, the joy we had with them. The learning experience as a whole for our service-learning was great, and beneficial to me. This project is one started by us, and one that would be continued by others, to breathe life into this project, to outreach to more students, and more volunteers like this will allow our project to continue.
In our unique shining lights, we shine.
Project Shine has been a great experience, but yet it’s taking over my whole life. From finding sponsors, to donors, to writing the songs, teaching the students, every of this takes up a lot and a lot of my effort. In the recent months to come, I have a string of things waiting for me to tackle, almost everyday. It’d be mugging, mugging, project, mugging, project, mugging and then project, just a cycle right all the way till November. We need to breathe life into Project Shine, make it then really outshine when put with dusty spider webs. We’d be going headstrong, march right across the obstacles. We’ve fell down too many times to even care if we fall again, but we learn each time. We learn, get that? We learn. We’ve learnt many things you have not, we’ve learnt your best, we’ve stole your skills, we’ve invaded your territory, we’ve conquered the mountains of impossibility, to make everything possible. So, we’re with a fire gun, ready for battle. My heart’s racing, my sweat’s coming down from my forehead, my hands armed, legs ready to run. Anxiety, help us run this race, take this fight, defeat the odds.
We’re Project Shine.
http://facebook.com/theprojectshine
I realised when being tired, emo and negative about things that happen, I can’t really help any situation. 3 months to exams, 4 months to my first step into everything I ever wanted. I would just have to wait for everything to come into place.
Not that I don’t work on it, not that I rest while waiting, I will do whatever I can within my power to get whatever I want. All these, yet not tiring myself out at all, juggling with academics at the same time. I realised that tiring myself out would not be effective at all. Feeling like I’m crazier than usual, I need to get into my party mood, I need to get optimistic as I was at the start of 2010. I need to get everything back. I have to start studying and start making my academics soar, so I can hopefully achieve awards to recognize my efforts in everything I do. This recognition will be everything that I aim for right now, even though I don’t have an EP3 leader position, because of slutty reasons, I will still not let this love pass by, I will make everything work out for me in this last year in high school and my last year in band.
:) Going back to who I was, I need a definition to myself, to make myself into my old mould with a style that breaks boundaries. I’m telling myself.