I realised when being tired, emo and negative about things that happen, I can’t really help any situation. 3 months to exams, 4 months to my first step into everything I ever wanted. I would just have to wait for everything to come into place.
Not that I don’t work on it, not that I rest while waiting, I will do whatever I can within my power to get whatever I want. All these, yet not tiring myself out at all, juggling with academics at the same time. I realised that tiring myself out would not be effective at all. Feeling like I’m crazier than usual, I need to get into my party mood, I need to get optimistic as I was at the start of 2010. I need to get everything back. I have to start studying and start making my academics soar, so I can hopefully achieve awards to recognize my efforts in everything I do. This recognition will be everything that I aim for right now, even though I don’t have an EP3 leader position, because of slutty reasons, I will still not let this love pass by, I will make everything work out for me in this last year in high school and my last year in band.
:) Going back to who I was, I need a definition to myself, to make myself into my old mould with a style that breaks boundaries. I’m telling myself.